I would like to bring attention to an epidemic going on lately. It is hard living in a world of perfect people as an imperfect person. I had no idea this was such a problem, but it is, so I would like to address it and issue apologies where they are due.
Dear Older Woman in the Store,
I sincerely apologize for my 4-year-old. I am obviously a horrible mother since he was throwing a fit because I told him he could not get a toy. I know that your children would never dream of this.
Signed,
Imperfect Awful Mother
Dear Recently Graduated from High School Girl,
Please let me apologize for my child's boisterous behavior. If I was a better mother, he would never raise his voice and spin in glee in public. I really hope it was not an extremely important conversation, but from your exasperated look and eye roll, I'm sure it was. I am sure when you have children some day, they will never do anything like have fun.
Signed,
Horrible Mother
Dear Woman Too Good to Say Hi to Me:
I know that you drop your child off every day looking perfect with them quietly holding your hand and walking next to you. I really should try harder. You see, I work from home to help support my family and at 9 am when I have been up for 3 or 4 hours and already worked 2 of them with my 4-year-old pulling on me, I'm lucky I got myself dressed and showed up on time. So, when I say hi, I'm really just trying to be friendly, but it is completely understandable I might not look like someone you would want to associate with. In the future, I'll avoid you so people don't accidentally think you know me.
Signed,
Dreadful Mother with no Make-Up On
Dear Mother Horrified because I Think Parenting is not Roses and Sunshine 24/7:
I saw how you looked at me when I insinuated that maybe parenting wasn't like finding the gold at the end of the rainbow. I know that since your child is perfect, every day must be like walking into a room of candy as a 5-year-old. You see, I love my child, but he's nuts...and I'm pretty sure plotting how to take me down someday. He makes messes, he yells, he kicks at the dog, he talks back, he slams doors, he doesn't share and, on really special occasions he makes scenes. He also helps pick up, wants to hug people when they are sick, tells me he loves me at least 20 times a day, cuddles with his dogs, offers his favorite toy to his friend and comforts people when they are sad. See, I was under the understanding that honesty was a good thing, but in the future I will refrain. I am sorry if I offended your perfection. I'm sure your child is a robot that does everything perfect, just like you.
Signed,
Deranged Mother that Refuses to be Fake
Whew! There, I think I covered most of the bases. If I forgot anybody, I am SO sorry. You see, I'm not perfect and neither is my child. Sometimes, we throw fits, talk too loudly, speak out of place, forget our manners and judge others. That's right, we do all of those things.
I apologize for times I have done these things, but I will not apologize for being me. I am who you see. Face-value fairly open book. I make mistakes. I sometimes cannot hold my tears or my tongue. I sometimes judge someone as something they are not. BUT....I love! I love so deeply and so fiercely that if I love you I will do almost anything for you. I am the only person I know how to be and every night when my son says, "I love you SO much mama" no matter what kind of great or horrible day we've had, I know that that is enough. I am enough and being me is okay.
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